8 Kinds of Pinoy Salary

Sibuyas na sweldo

Kapag Hinati-hati mo na sa gastusin mapapaluha ka

Pampapapayat na Sweldo:

Habang tumatagal pakonti ng pakonti ang natitirang kain mo.

Magic Sweldo :

Konting kumpas lng ng kamat at, VOILA!.. wala na sya...

Mala-Bagyong Sweldo:

Di ka siguardo kung kailan ito darating at kung gaano ito itatagal.

Korning Pelikulang Sweldo:

Tinatawanan mo na lang para di ka MaBwisit

Konserbatibong Sweldo:

Nakakawala ng inspirasyon

Baog na Sweldo :

Kahit anong trabaho ang gawin mo wala pa ring kalalabasan

Reglang Sweldo:

Isang beses sa isang Buwan lng dumadating at tumatagal lng ng 3 araw







Conclusion : 

Make sure your Boss doesn't trick you with your contract Salary

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In Jobs People Below see only AssHoles above

In your Organizational Charts show how many assholes you'll be seeing. If you're in the Lower level it means you have to deal more assHoles. But if you're in the Peak, you have more shit heads to face with.

When Top Level Guys look down, they see only Shitheads...

When Bottom Level Guys look up, they see only assholes

I Hate Monday

Life is Short with the WRONG JOB

ATM Machine Substitute

Cigarette Dispenser Substitute

Coffee maker Substitute

Fuel Dispenser Substitute

Ice Cream Maker Substitute

Amusement Kids Ride Substitute

Jukebox Machine Substitute

Video Arcade Game Substitute

Washing Machine Substitute

X-Ray Luggage Scanner Substitute

Butcher Fashion Designer

 Hair Stylist for Nun

Do u have a Girlfriend? (for Job Interview)

Do u have a Girlfriend? [Interview]

Story I

E: Do u have a boyfriend?

C: I have.

E: Is he working Locally?

C: No. He is working Overseas.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !

C: Why?

E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't

want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.

Story II

E: Any girl friends?

C: No.

E: So far chased any before?

C: Have, but not successful.

E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?

C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This personal

issue.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.

C: Why?

E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!

Story III

E: Any girlfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is she pretty?

C: Not quite.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.

C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?

E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is

dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.

Story IV

E: Any girlfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is she pretty?

C: yes

E: Is she your first lover?

C: Yes.

E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.

Story V

E: Any girlfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is she your first lover?

C: No. Have a few already.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper" ! (Job

hoper lah!)

Story VI

E: Any boyfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is he rich?

C: No.

E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing

with money and you will seduce.

Story VII

E: Any boyfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is he rich ?

C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.

E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to

employ you, neither do we!

C: But,...... there is no position in his company.

E: Then,..... what is your qualification?

C: Secretary!

E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will affect

your managers' working spirits.

C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.

E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!

Airplane Pusher Job

Its not really a hard job , it will just takes you some minutes to finish one Airplane. Your job is too wait for departing Airplane , a captain will call when they about to start to depart then you and the others will starts the push.

"NO,.. NO,..NO!!!.. guys , you pushing it the wrong way..

Now pull it back!!! "

Job Hiring: Condom Tester

I have no comment with this , I'm sure a lot of guys will queue for the post.

I wonder how they terminate their employees?

Bike Rider-Photographer For Goole Maps

This will happen if Google lost all their millions and have to support their Google Earth manually. This is also good for a lot of unemployed bum people that are desperately looking for a job.

"Oh shit.. someone explored Africa. I need to get there on time"